So...here I am...back home and in my bed...once again recovering from surgery.
This past week has been a big one! One with many ups and downs...but praise the Lord we have Him to lean on every step we take on this journey of life! How could we ever make it without Him!!??!!
WE COULDN'T!!!

This past Monday...one week ago today I had an appointment at the Mayo clinic with a surgeon.
I met with him and they decided to go ahead and do the surgeon the following day, Tuesday.
The surgery was to remove my one last remaining ovary...so now there is NOTHING LEFT...and I am in MENOPAUSE!!!! Yikes!!! It's amazing to say the least! VERY WARM!!!
At that appointment they also check a lump that I had found in my breast 2 weeks earlier. When they checked it they were a bit concerned, specially with our family history of breast cancer, and decided to order a mammogram for that same day...I had the mammogram and after they saw the lump on there they then decided it would be best to get a better look at it through an ultrasound. This made me even more nervous!
After I had the ultrasound done on that same day...this was all Monday...they just kept moving me from one thing to the next...the Dr. came in and met with me and said they felt like they needed to get a biopsy of the lump.
They said that they could tell through the ultrasound that it had signs of a growing tumor but were not able to determine if it was cancer or not...of course my nervousness went up!!
They really wanted to get the biopsy done that same day, Monday, but were unable to do that...so they said let's do it first thing Tuesday, well that was not possible due to my other surgery already being in place, so I had to wait until Thursday morning to have the CORE BIOPSY done on the lump.
I made it through the surgery...I once again had some trouble in recovery with my heart and breathing, after 3 hours in recovery they felt that I was stable finally and I was sent to a room.
I just had surgery April 8th exactly 3 months earlier to remove my other ovary and clean out endometriosis as well as cysts...when they went in this time my ovary was stuck to my abdominal wall (painful), had 2 larger cysts on it, as well as more endometriosis had already grown back! Argh!
So...I am sore!!! But improving each day! and just thrilled that it is over with!
I had the biopsy on Thursday morning...a rather uncomfortable process...still uncomfortable actually!
and then it was waiting...waiting...and more waiting...they did do a total of 5 samples and then places a metal clip in at the site that is in the exact shape of a breast cancer ribbon...kinda' interesting. They do that to mark the spot and to keep tabs on it and it's growth.
Finally Saturday morning at 7 am I received a phone call from my Dr that the biopsy came back benign!
Praise the Lord!!!!!
He once again stated that it will grow, specially now that I will be having to take hormone therapy, that tends to make them grow faster! So they will be removing the lump in about 1 month by doing a lumpectomy once again back at the Mayo Clinic.
It will be about a month before I can start hormone therapy as well due to the endometriosis as well as the breast tumor...so...it is a month of major HOT FLASHES! and feeling like a nut!
I just can't even explain the intensity of the hot flashes! You feel like you are actually on fire from the inside out!

Anyways, that was my week!
It was a week that the Lord used to stretch me! Grow me! and bring me to a new understanding of His Will and truly TRUSTING in HIM for your every day!!
Thursday was my hardest night. Jason was still not with me which had made the whole week a very, very hard one!...but the comfort that God gave is beyond anything that I could ever explain!
Just knowing that He KNOWS! All of this was planned for ME before time EVER BEGAN!
and ALL that takes place in my life...any of our lives...is to bring HIM glory!
He will allow and do whatever will bring HIM the most glory!
Our task is to make sure He receives that glory!!!



The song that I kept playing over and over and over again on Thusday night was

"He Gives Me Peace"

Sometimes the trials of life seem hard to bear.
Sometimes the music of my soul grows dim.
In times like these my faith grows weak.
I long to hear the Savior speak.

Where are you, Father where are you,
You have promised You would always be near.
Then I hear Your voice,
deep within my soul.
Saying "Child, My child I am here."

Peace, peace, my Savior gives me peace.
When I am crushed by the weight of my storm.
His precious hand will guide me,
and He will safely hide me,
in the shelter of His loving arms.

Peace, peace, how I love his perfect peace.
As I trust Him I have no need to fear.
In my Fathers hands I can rest,
for He knows what is best for me.
Peace, He gives me peace.

Peace, peace how I love His perfect peace.
As I trust Him I have no need to fear.
In my Fathers hands I can rest,
for He knows what is best for me.
Peace, He gives me peace,
Peace, He gives me peace.

OH, the peace that He did give me! That no matter what, not matter if I was facing cancer or not, my Father knows what is best for me! and He did give me His peace! I knew I was being held in my Heavenly Fathers loving arms! and there was no place else that I would have wanted to be!!!

Thank you to all who were praying for me! and thank you for continue to pray for my recovery.

Megan, thank you for your sweet notes! they have been such a blessing and such an encouragement to me!!



  

Here I sit awaiting surgery once again...oh how I am becoming way to familiar with these hospitals!!!

Well, we had our Doctors appointments...UGH, UGH, UGH!!

Patrick, Emma, and I all have double ear infection...Calvin's eardrums were bulging but not all fire red yet like ours were...but on their way to be that way!

All of us have sinus infection!

Patrick and Emma have full fledged pink eye, mine and Calvin's was just starting!

AND...

I have retracted eardrum in my ear that I had surgery on as well as the two jaw surgeries in and around in the past few months...so...I HURT!!!!

Retracted eardrum is when the sinus pressure is pulling your eardrum in...instead of making it bulge out!

I'll just let you know...IT KILLS!!!!!
Specially after having surgeries that it is still healing from!

Ok, was that enough whining for you all?

Sorry!

I did chat with my brother a bit through my car window...he is here for the week from Kentucky and I am so bummed that we are all so contagious that we don't dare go near anyone yet!

We did get meds...I came home with a HUGE bag full of antibiotics yesterday!

It has been a blessing though! Because this is only Emma's second time to ever need any, Calvin's 3rd, and Patrick's 3rd I believe! That is amazing considering they are 6, 9, and 8!!

The Doctor said to give us a good 48 hrs on the meds before we go out and about!
....
so...
...
we are just laying low for a while...mean while my family is all out and about...
so sad!

BUT!!!!

What did I say yesterday???

GOD KNOWS! IT IS ALL IN HIS PLAN!!!

I NEED TO REST IN THAT!!!

Trying to think if I have anything not so depressing to write about today...hmmm...

I got my new HOME COMPANION magazine today in the mail!
HURRAY!
It is put out my Mary Engelbreit which I love, love, LOVE!!!

Did I ever post pictures of Emma's room since I redid it? Hmmm...I might need to do that!
It is all Mary Engelbreit...I am still working on my kitchen...
it use to be Mary Engelbreit but it is now vintage like I guess??? Sorta...not sure...
I do love it though...but it isn't finished!
I still need to put something up on the one wall...I want some vintage kitchen like pictures.
I should hunt the internet to see what I can find...I really need to go to like a great big flea market or something and look!! :o) OH, I love those!!!! We just don't have them up here where we live!

Ok, really just rambling now...I think I will sign off for now, grab my cup of UPTON TEA,
and my Mary Engelbreit's HOME COMPANION, turn on some music, and just relax!
OH, how I need a porch!!!

Here is a picture I found that brightens my spirits!
This was taken quite a while ago...oh, how precious my three little miracles are!
You know I was told I could never have children?
Isn't God amazing!
and looking at all of the lovely female health issues I have it truly shows you what a miracle they are!
It baffles the Doctors! I love it when God does that!
How can anyone not accept that God is who He is?!

WHAT A GOD WE SERVE!!!

This morning I just feel like posting so many things...or maybe just rambling...the issue is I do not have much time. The kids and I are suppose to be up at the dining hall to eat brunch with Jason at 9:45am and I am still in my robe...I have gotten some things done...but oh, I just feel like sitting!

Anyways, I did get up early and made myself a cup of my wonderful Scented Darjeeling Tea (loose leaf...I am finding I am hooked on this whole loose leaf thing!) and just wanted to drink out of my oldest mug I could find...do you ever do that? I think I am just in this OLD rut thing since I have been reading
L.M. Montgomery's Journals...I read another girls blog (purpleamethyst76) and she had been reading one as well as had beautiful pictures of all of her L.M. Montgomery books...it gave me the itch to pull out some and start reading...but right now I am really into the Journal!

Ok, all that to say...I wanted to drink out of my special old mug this morning...ahhh...that is how it makes me feel...just a bit extra relaxed! Which going into this week with family being here, family camp going on, and me getting ready to head out of state for hopefully my last surgery!!! I needed a bit of that extra Ahhh...this morning! Also after a week of horrible Migraines...ugh!

My old mug with my yummy tea!
I honestly don't know how much longer this mug will last me...there are cracks in it...
but it hasn't  leaked yet! I just can't give it up!!!


Me getting a bit of snuggling from my sweet Clarence during one of my bad migraines this past week!
He is so sweet! If I don't feel well he is all over me trying to comfort me I think!!!!


This next one is not a great picture by any means, but I wanted to show how he just lays on me and wraps his arms on me! It is the sweetest feeling! OH, to be loved by a cat...is there anything quite like that?


I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day!